True Friendship

The Venerable Ananda once observed to the Buddha: “This is half of the spiritual life, Lord: admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie.”

The Buddha responded to Ananda: “Not so. Not so. Admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie are not half of the spiritual life. They are the whole of spiritual life.”

We cannot reach our fullest flowering unless we associate with the right people. The right people are not just the ones who make us laugh, who take our side, who tell us what we want to hear. The right people are the ones we can learn from, whose good qualities we can emulate. They tell us with love and timeliness what is truthful and what is necessary for our progress.

Sometimes we think people are admirable friends, only to find out later that they cannot carry our pains or tolerate our joys or help us navigate our shortcomings. It is dreadfully painful when we come to this awareness. Yet it does no good, and it is wasteful of our energy, to try to find fault with them. Hold everyone in respect, but keep close only those who are worthy of your high esteem.